The Critical 'I'

Read. React. Repeat.

Monday, July 05, 2004

BUSH IS NOT A CHIMP
Pay attention now, you liberal media sops: President George W. Bush is not a chimp, despite much writing to the contrary:
Bush has been described as a "chimp," (Globe and Mail), a "grinning chimp" (In These Times), a "smirking chimp," (SmirkingChimp.com), "the Chimp in Charge," Democratic Underground, a "hairless chimp" (The Columbian) [incorrect on both counts], and a "pretzel-eating chimp" (AP) with a face that reveals "thin-lipped brow-furrowed monkey confusion" (San Francisco Chronicle). The President's actions have similarly been conveyed in simian terms: "Bush proposes to monkey with the Constitution" (Slate).
Need proof that our Chief Executive is not of the monkey-ish persuasion?
"Bush has proposed changing the Endangered Species Act to allow imports of endangered species and body parts," says [Monkeywire cofounder Carrie] McLaren. "A chimp would never do that."
Glad that's all cleared up.