The Critical 'I'

Read. React. Repeat.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

- Why would anyone in their right minds have a wedding reception in a cramped little bar?

- Lounge piano player with a tip jar = good idea. '80s cover band with a tip jar = it's never going to happen, accept that and start looking for a real job.

- If you're going to try to entice me, first make sure I wasn't within earshot while you were spilling your guts about what a dysfunctional life you lead. The ability to string together more than three words without one of them being "fuck" would be a nice bonus, too.

- Nothing bums me out more than having to continually filter my chick radar to account for far too many hoochied-out jailbaiters. Where the hell are their parents? Oh right, they're only a few feet away...

- Strangely, movie trivia quizzes on projection TVs really seem to excite some women (in a good way, too).

- It's good to have a Ben & Jerry's Store within easy walking distance, when you get a sudden craving for a couple of scoops.

- It's also good to have a cigar shop in close proximity--even if you don't take advantage of it.