The Critical 'I'

Read. React. Repeat.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

THERE'S ALWAYS PEANUTS AND CRACKERJACK
god forbids!
Has there ever been a more arduous time to be a Boston Red Sox fan? First the team gets bounced out of the playoffs by the hated Yankees, then it loses out on the Alex Rodriguez chase to that same AL East rival (and winds up sounding like a bunch of crybabies over it). Now, Catholic Sox fans are upset about Opening Day at Fenway falling on Good Friday this year, meaning they can't indulge in their traditional ballpark goodies like hotdogs and meat-topped pizza.

In typically soft American religious fashion, several fans are asking for special dispensation to eat meat at the game without the risk of going to hell; the Boston Archdiocese ain't going for it. It seems that in 2004, being religiously faithful and Red Sox-faithful are mutually exclusive things.

"I would hope it was just an oversight when they were doing the schedule," [Archdiocese spokesperson Rev. Christopher J.] Coyne told the Boston Herald. "I think it's very insensitive to the huge number of people who are Christians and fans."

Oh, I agree. It's very insensitive to keep a religious fan from stuffing his fat face with a footlong for three whole hours. What a crisis of faith! I've got news for you: If you can't go to a ballgame and resist the temptation of meat-flavored munchies, even with Godly devotion on your side, then you should seriously question your value system. Not to mention your waistline.