The Critical 'I'

Read. React. Repeat.

Sunday, February 29, 2004

When the news of Bubba the Love Sponge's firing came down last week, I made a brief prediction on Bubba's future prospects as a free agent:

I guess this frees Bubba to pursue the Howard Stern-like fame he believes he's due. Given that he's flopped in the couple of times he's tried to break into larger markets like Chicago and Philadelphia, though, I'd say his more likely destiny lies in strip clubs and metal-rock festivals.

I still think emceeing gigs like the Livestock Music Festival is where Bubba will be making his bread-and-butter from here on out. Bubba himself is holding out hope of getting his show revived on satellite radio.

Others feel that Bubba has some marketable skills, often on display during his show's tenure, that could open the doors to many diverse fields. Some of the opportunities available from

1. Knowledge of hog slaughtering.

Senior butcher - "Manage inventory, place biweekly meat orders, cut and serve raw the world's finest beef, pork, and poultry. Extensive knowledge of butchery. Chance of a life time." Location: Cape Cod, Mass.

3. Familiarity with Federal Communications Commission standards.

FCC Regulatory Affairs Counsel - "We have an immediate opening for a Federal Regulatory Affairs Attorney to join our Legal/Regulatory team. The Attorney will represent Level 3 Communications before the Federal Communication Commission and other federal agencies in formulating policy positions, drafting comments and presentations, meeting with FCC staff to articulate Level 3's positions; serve as the primary contact for the FCC." Location: Westminster, Colo.

5. His "No-panties Thursday" past, which had listeners hanging skimpy garments on their car antennas.

Lingerie buyer - "The Wet Seal, Inc., a specialty retailer of fashionable and contemporary apparel and accessory items is headquartered in Foothill Ranch, California. We are currently seeking a lingerie buyer." Location: Foothill Ranch, Calif.