The Critical 'I'

Read. React. Repeat.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

In light of this lady's health problems, my whiney little rant about heartburn seems awfully inconsequential.

I am thirty years old, and this seems absurd to me. Degenerative bone diseases are for the elderly, or for women who have neglected their calcium intake all of their lives. I don't fit either category, not really, with the exception of a phase in my teens where I fought against the development of curves by living on one extremely small meal a day. I have stronger muscles than just about any woman I know, except for the serious athletes. Muscle strength is supposed to be good for bones, but not for me. For me, the muscles are like rubber cement, and they are forcing the bones into a bad position. I don't seem to be accepting this with the philosophical attitude I should. It's hard to accept that I can have permanent, unfixable problems this early in life. It makes me terrified of the future, of the progression of my aging process. If it's like this at thirty, what on earth will it be like at fifty? Seventy? Do I want to stick around to find out?...

This isn't old. It's just a first step.