The Critical 'I'

Read. React. Repeat.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

HAIL TO THE... BUREAUCRATS?
and their Red Tape Defense
One of the longer-lasting mascots in professional sports may soon be history. A district court in Washington is preparing a decision that could strip the Washington Redskins of their trademark rights on the name "Redskins", deeming it an offensive term to Native Americans/Indians; thus rendering useless the commercial purposes of the team name. Basically, if the team has no legal protection of the name "Redskins", it can't stop any random schmoe from printing up a bunch of unauthorized t-shirts, caps, etc. Therefore, the value of the name would be practically nil.

So, naturally, Washington Football Inc. will need a new dba name if the court decides against it. What better than to name the football team after the profession that DC is most known for?

The other choices offered up in this CNN/Money article are the Lobbyists and Wild Hogs. Both are fitting tributes to the mechanics of government. Wild Hogs would also be a nice mini-tribute to Washington's diehard fans.

Yeah, I know, none of these appropos names have a chance in hell of becoming real. If they do have to invent a new moniker, it'll be something sanitized by intense market research; they'll probably come up with something like Generals, or even worse, a singular nickname (which I despise, being a Lightning fan notwithstanding) like Thunder. Heck, they could even take the next logical step and sell the naming rights to the team, calling them the Washington Honeywells or something (although I don't think any American major-pro league is quite ready to make that leap just yet).